We live in a world of interactions, all based on emotions. Either you acknowledge that all behavior is based on emotions or you deny it, attaching yourself to the myth of us as "rational actors" who make decisions in a rational way. There are no more options.

What is emotion, in this case? is the automatic perception of our being in the world as secure or threatened, of being accepted or rejected, and in this polarity hides the most basic orientation of our lives, towards which enhances our security, happiness and connection, and detaching ourselves from pain, hurt and isolation.

Along my work in conflict, I have seen every time that people get into confrontations because they need to feel either more secure, or recognized or appreciated than what they are getting at the moment. People will get into any kind of risk to receive some recognition of being valuable and admirable! so we are always seeking for acceptance and love, even when we pursue this need satisfaction through strange ways.

Getting in a fight? you can say that it is very strange, because it's an hostile activity. Well, let's say that fighting with someone is better than being ignored by that same someone, right?

Why is it so difficult to accept that we all need recognition? to begin with, there is our pride in between; we want to be loved without us having to ask for it! if we ask, then it doesn't count!!!

And so we go on along life, dancing this extrange dance of needing recognition, not asking for it, withholding it from our loved ones so they have to challenge us to express some positive comment....isn't it a bit sad?

Perhaps we can beging doing appreciation this very moment and see what happens? have you praised your best enemy today? No? why not?